Too Late

“It’s the harmless moments like these that, if they occur often enough, will end up being a hell of a lot more than just harmless.”

Carter knows that Asa’s willingness to hurt Sloan in front of him doesn’t bode well for her safety. Abuse tends to escalate with time. His comment foreshadows his growing feelings for Sloan, as well as the spiral of Asa’s abuse.

“I realize some women are drawn to men like Asa. I’ve been in this career long enough to see that. I try to empathize and understand it, but I can’t fathom why Sloan remains in the situation she’s in. It’s so damn painful having to sit back and watch it, because I don’t know what’s kept her there.”

Luke’s confusion about Sloan’s apparent unwillingness to break ties with Asa is understandable, but it is the viewpoint of someone who has most likely never been abused. Each time Sloan goes back to Asa, he gains more control over her. The cycle perpetuates itself. However, this quote comes before Luke knows about her situation with Stephen.

“Lying here wrapped in his arms, watching him watch me with such intensity—I don’t know if I should feel loved or terrified. It’s a little of both.”

Asa takes Sloan to bed after she tells him she was alone at lunch. His behavior is characteristic of many abusers. He is able to make Sloan feel worshipped and frightened simultaneously. The abuser uses the facade of love to pacify their partner while exerting dominance.

“Is this not the definition of a whore? Someone who compromises his or her self-respect for personal gain? Even if my personal gain is something selfless and has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my brother, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m having sex with him for something.”

Rather than risking Asa’s anger, Sloan tells him she loves him, promises that she’ll never leave, and lets him have sex with her. Given her mother’s history, she is tempted to accept that she is only doing what is natural to her, as if the closest she can come to love and intimacy is a physical transaction.

“Having to separate what I’m here to do and what I want to do makes this situation feel like General Patton’s theory, how sometimes it’s necessary to sacrifice the lives of the few for the good of the many. It feels like I’m sacrificing Sloan’s life for the sake of all the others that Asa is ruining.”

Luke’s growing feelings for Asa require a decision between his professionalism and his protectiveness for her. He hates what Asa’s doing to her, but he also hates that Asa fuels the drug trade that damages others in the area. Ultimately, he can’t resist his feelings for Sloan, which puts them both in danger.

“No one should have to experience a life never feeling truly cared for—not even by the parents who created them. Yet I’ve lived that for twenty-one years now. Until this moment.”

As Luke holds Sloan in the park, she realizes it’s the first time she has ever felt that she matters to someone. She has a living mother, brother, and a boyfriend, but Luke is the first person in her life to express concern without asking for anything in return. Sloan has never been shown how love is supposed to feel.

 “The only thing love relies on for survival is respect. And you don’t get that from him.”

When Luke asks Sloan if she loves Asa, she is silent. He knows that she used to, but it becomes impossible to sustain love without respect. When Sloan considers his comment, she knows that Luke is right. Asa doesn’t respect her, and it’s hard to imagine love actually existing in a relationship without respect.

“Normally, when someone gets attacked, it’s reported to the police. But inside this house, it’s handled internally. It’s used as a bargaining tool. And instead of going to the police, I go upstairs to a guy who is ten times more dangerous than the person who almost raped me.”

After Luke stops Jon from assaulting Sloan, he sends her upstairs to stay with Asa. This gives Sloan a chance to reflect on how different life is outside this house. Violence is part of the routine, and men like Asa and Jon use it as leverage. Abuse survivors are forced to follow the rules of a game created by their abusers, and the world outside remains unaware that the game is taking place.

“You hold a fucking door open for a girl, she automatically thinks you’re a gentleman. She think you’re the type of guy who would treat his mother like a queen. Girls see guys with manners and think there’s no way they could be dangerous. I held every fucking door open for Sloan that I could find.”

Asa remembers his initial pursuit of Sloan. His approach was calculated, but even someone as smart as Sloan could be tricked by manners and confidence. Asa knew he was dangerous, but Sloan had no idea until it was too late. His viewpoint reflects his father’s misogyny, as well as the shallowness of his own concept of what relationships can be.

“That’s all those were. Words. A few simple words strung together, but they held just enough power to physically stop me in my tracks.”

When Luke tells Sloan she is beautiful, his sincerity stops her. She knows that he means it and that his compliment is not a tactic. Sloan is used to being treated as an object—a desirable object, but still an object. Luke tells her how he feels without expecting anything in return.

“Maybe it’s weird to compare people to drugs, but when drugs are all you know, it’s normal.”

Asa compares people to drugs, the pleasure with which he is most familiar. He thinks Jon is like meth, Dalton is cocaine, and Carter is an overdose, particularly in light of Sloan possibly saying his name in her sleep. Asa evaluates people as if they are substances. He measures their worth in terms of how they make him feel and how they temporarily benefit him. His selfish way of relating to people contrasts to Sloan’s self-sacrificing nature and Luke’s no-strings-attached generosity.

“Love is not found. Love finds…Love finds you in the forgiveness at the tail end of a fight. Love finds you in the empathy you feel for someone else. Love finds you in the embrace that follows a tragedy. Love finds you in the celebration after the conquering of an illness. Love finds you in the devastation after the surrender to an illness.”

Luke makes a moving, if drunken, toast to Sloan and Asa at the engagement party. While he believes what he says, Luke also uses the opportunity to describe all the things that Sloan does not receive from Asa. Asa has no use for empathy, forgiveness, or selflessness, which are requisites for a loving relationship.

“You see nothing outside the realm of yourself when you’re a sadistic narcissist.”

Luke thinks about Asa on the way to Stephen’s facility. Regardless of why Asa became an abusive man, Luke knows that Asa is incapable of considering the feelings of others. He is a narcissist like his father before him, and the only pleasure in his life comes from harming and controlling others.

“The one person in this world she loves doesn’t have the capacity to express his love for her in return. No wonder she seems so lonely. She’s probably the loneliest person I’ve ever met.”

When Luke visits Stephen with Sloan, he is sad to find that Stephen can’t express his love for his sister. Luke has been privileged enough to take the love of his family for granted. Sloan has family members who are still living, but she can’t expect demonstrative love from Stephen or her mother.

“To be someone’s main concern feels a hell of a lot like being loved.”

Sloan is relieved to realize that Luke’s feelings for her are real. Ironically, Luke is just doing what any decent person would do. He may be perfect for her, but even doing his job and treating her with respect is enough to make him seem like an ideal man to her.

“Sometimes I think I could treat you better than I do…I don’t know how.”

Asa relents when Sloan confronts him about Stephen’s benefits. In a rare moment of insight and vulnerability, he admits that no one ever showed him how to treat a woman. However, Asa says this while under the influence of drugs. There is little other evidence in the novel that he ever truly contemplates changing or treating Sloan better.

“The only time he calls me son is when he’s scared of the men who are going to shoot him and then my mom and then me. When he’s scared, he’s really nice to me and makes me help him do things like push the couch against the door and unplug all the things that have electricity.”

Asa remembers his father’s paranoia. His memories depict the classic cycle of abuse, in which the abused becomes the abuser. Asa doesn’t have any fond memories of his father. All his life, he has either been a scapegoat for his father to lash out at or a tool who could help his father keep imaginary enemies at bay. Asa’s self-centered way of relating to others makes more sense in this context.

“Sometimes cancer is cured…sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes people hit their heads and die; most of the time they hit their heads and survive. And anytime you hear of a person beating the odds…that’s all they’re doing. Beating the odds.”

Sloan obsesses about the six-centimeter difference that killed Drew. She doesn’t believe miracles. In order for some people to beat the odds, the majority of people have to lose. Most of the time, the odds win. This quote foreshadows the bullet that almost kills Luke. If it had been six centimeters off, he would have died.

“Love shouldn’t feel like added weight. It should make you feel as light as air.”

In the hospital, Sloan thinks that this is the first time someone else has removed stress from her life, rather than adding to it. Asa’s love has been a burden, weighing her down—her potential, her self-esteem, and her identity. Luke’s love, however, is freeing. It makes her think of opportunities, not escapes.

“That says a lot about our court system. I attempt to kill a guy in cold blood, and I walk free because I tattle and claim a mental illness? I fucking love the USA.”

Asa can’t believe his luck when he is freed without charges. Everyone knows he is gaming the system, but there is nothing anyone can do about it. If Asa knows he can get away with a shooting, he has no reason to change his behavior or worry about future court appearances.

“Every time I think about my first time with you, I throw up bile. It fucking burns my throat every time I think about how you took something so special from me and treated it like it was yours to do with as you pleased.”

Sloan tries to make Asa suffer the way he has made her suffer. During this final confrontation, she says everything she can think of that will hurt him. Nothing wounds Asa more than hearing that she hated sex with him and how much she enjoys sex with Luke. She hopes to cut through Asa’s delusions, forcing him to understand that he brainwashed and controlled her, not Luke.

“I should have known not to love something as much as I loved her. But I couldn’t help it. It was like she was made for me. It was as if she was put on this earth to make up for all the shit I endured growing up. For a while, I thought she was God’s apology to me.”

Asa blames himself for loving Sloan, but his view of her role in his life is distorted. A good partner can help relieve the burdens of the other’s past, but not out of coercion or duty. Asa describes Sloan as a gift, but a gift that he never treated well or felt grateful for. Even in this rare moment of emotional vulnerability, Asa sees Sloan as an object that exists purely for his benefit.

“I’m going to fight Asa with the only weapon stronger than he is. I’m going to fight him with love.”

Sloan tells Asa what he needs to hear as she plans her escape. She knows that affection will disarm him the most because he has no experience with real love. Asa expects resistance in every aspect of his life, including his relationships. He is unprepared and disoriented by love that is freely offered.