The Rainbow Comes and Goes: A Mother and Son on Life, Love, and Loss

In this section, Cooper and Vanderbilt near the end of their conversation, finally understanding not only how they are different but also how they are similar. They share their regrets and the comfort they both feel with knowing that good things are present even in dark times, which helps them both with Healing From Loss. They are finally comfortable with each other after talking about their lives, showing The Importance of Strong Parent-Child Relationships, particularly in this last section of the memoir. Vanderbilt shares two letters she has written: a letter to her younger self and a letter to Cooper for him to keep after her death. These letters represent both themes: Giving her younger self advice allows her to move on from the pain of the past, and writing a letter for Cooper emphasizes the strength of their relationship and how it is and will be ongoing, even after her death.

Chapter 6 introduces the rainbow as an important symbol for good times, happiness, and beauty. Vanderbilt quotes the line “The rainbow comes and goes” from William Wordsworth’s poem “Ode: Intimations of Immortality From Recollections of Childhood” and uses it to explain her shared philosophy with him: Happiness, like a rainbow, is not always there, but one must hope for and look forward to its return. She explains,

In every life, you have moments of blinding beauty and happiness, and then you land in a dark cave and there is no color, no sky. Then the rainbow returns, sometimes only briefly, but it always does come back. You have to believe that it will, even in the darkest of times. That belief is what is really important (273).

Cooper has a different understanding of the rainbow. He says that while his mother believes “it is out there even when you can’t see it” and “will always return,” he prefers to “teach [him]self to be comfortable in the darkness” in case he is not around when the rainbow returns or if the rainbow does not return at all (275). The rainbow and the authors’ differing outlooks on it reflect their differing attitudes toward hope, stemming from Cooper’s independent personality and work in war zones and disaster-torn areas and Vanderbilt’s unwavering optimism, which she inherited from her grandmother. The symbol appears again in the Epilogue, in which Cooper states the line from Wordsworth’s poem again after going to see a movie with Vanderbilt for her 92nd birthday, the two of them finally understanding each other fully. The connection of this with his assertions that “[he] know[s] her. She knows [him]” and “[s]he is [his] mother. [He is] her son” show the importance of strong parent-child relationships and healing from loss (290). Their conversation has strengthened their relationship and given them joy and peace after so much loss in their lives.

Another symbol in this section, which Vanderbilt briefly uses in Chapter 6, is the dragon, which symbolizes her lifelong sense of pain and loss. In her letter to her younger self, she begins with the line, “For you, underneath happiness lies in wait a dragon” (266). She says that this dragon has been present since her early years in Paris and that she has spent her whole life in “a long search to slay this beast” (266). Vanderbilt has tried to overcome her grief and fear through multiple means, including her relationships with Dodo, Naney, and Auntie Ger and her relationships with men. She explains to her younger self, however, that over time, she has “made the dragon a friend and so can you; the kind of friend who lives in a distant land you touch base with now and again” (267). This makes a dragon also a symbol for her mother, whom she grew up fearing and from whose emotional neglect she had spent years trying to recover. Like the dragon, however, she has made peace with her mother. Overall, the dragon symbolizes her life: By making peace with and forgiving the betrayals and losses she suffered, she has allowed herself to heal. For this reason, the symbol of the dragon also emphasizes healing from loss.