The Next Great Paulie Fink

Chapter 1 opens with a hypothetical framing of the tale as a TV show, which means the beginning can start in a “million places.” The narrator settles on beginning after they see the “Good Day Bell” at their new school in Mitchell, Vermont, which occupies an old mansion and has a bell near the front door (12). 

When Caitlyn enters the classroom, 10 students stare at her in silent disappointment, as if they were expecting someone else. Caitlyn introduces herself to readers as Mitchell School’s new seventh grader. She likes order, dislikes being stared at, and feels this is the “most horrifying moment” of her life (14). 

In an email sent to her mom, Wendy, Principal Alice Glebus explains that Mitchell School was founded so that students wouldn’t have to commute to another town for school. The Mitchell School is “experimental” and small, housed in an old estate. Caitlyn’s class is called the “Originals” because they were the founding kindergarten class at the school. 

Caitlyn conducts an interview with Timothy Boggs, Thomas Boggs, and Yumi Wantanabe-Peterson, asking them to recall the first day of seventh grade. Thomas instead recalls the first day of sixth grade, when Paulie Fink, a former student, told students that Glebus was giving out candy in her office. Glebus found Paulie behind her desk after drawers repeatedly popped open. This year, students assumed Paulie was late because he was “up to no good” (19).

Caitlyn surveys the disappointed students in the classroom. She ruminates over the standard protocol in new kid introductions, which typically ask students to be kind and welcoming; students focus instead on trying to place the new student in a social group. 

The students ask where Paulie is while Caitlyn imagines her old school, feeling “swampy” inside. She follows her own rules for when one feels swampy to prevent crying: 1) stare without blinking, 2) breathe, and 3) become stone. The third trick is her best, she thinks.

The principal, Ms. Glebus, enters the classroom. Glebus explains that she was working with the goats, reminds students that student records are confidential, and then leaves the room. 

Miss Magruder, whom the Originals call Mags, says she will be their homeroom and humanities teacher this year. She will be guiding students through ancient Greece as a means to explore the human condition.

While Mags speaks, Fiona and Diego Silva whisper about Glebus with Yumi. Mags scolds Fiona and Yumi, prompting Diego to tease Fiona for getting in trouble. Gabby Amisi takes Diego’s side, and Fiona grows upset with her, protesting that her behavior is nothing compared to the trouble Paulie used to cause. Caitlyn feels like a “big nobody.”

Caitlyn holds in her hand the rules for success in seventh grade that her old friends gave her, which include making a great impression, showing no interest in others, and not humiliating yourself like Anna Spang, an outcast at Caitlyn’s old school. Caitlyn feels like Anna and laments not making any impression on her new classmates. 

Caitlyn interviews Gabby, who shares that she is an “expert” at making great first impressions because she loves the reality show The Search for the Next Great Megastar. The show has taught her that a first impression doesn’t necessarily reveal one’s character and that things evolve as characters join or are eliminated, much like when Paulie disappeared and Caitlyn arrived at Mitchell. 

Caitlyn interviews Fiona, who laments Paulie’s disappearance because he was the only student who got in trouble more often than she did. Though she used to feel bad about getting into trouble, she finds comfort in the expression “Well-behaved women seldom make history” (34).

Caitlyn spends her first morning at the Mitchell School trying to figure out her new classmates. There’s “soccer boy” Diego; Fiona, who wears pantsuits; pink-haired Yumi; Gabby, who seems nice; Henry Cardinali, who loves facts; twins Timothy and Thomas; and trio Lydia Shea, Willow Das, and Sam Moyes. 

Caitlyn doesn’t know where the students “fit” and ponders the differences between Mitchell School and her old school. Suddenly, the whole class begins a dance party. When Caitlyn says her old school in New York didn’t do this, she allows Gabby to think that she is from New York City rather than New York state. Gabby asks Caitlyn if she’s ever seen Jadelicious from Megastar there. Caitlyn asks if Fiona and Diego are friends or enemies, and Gabby replies that they are “frenemies.” When Caitlyn asks Fiona about her “weird” suit, Fiona declares that she wears it because she is a “strong and powerful woman” (39).

Mr. Farabi, the math, science, and gym teacher, welcomes the Originals at the goat pen, explaining that the goats will rid the field of bushes before the annual soccer game against their snobby rival school, Devlinshire. The goats will remain after the game to teach the students about ecosystems and responsibility. A goat rams Caitlyn in the legs, causing her to fall.

Caitlyn breathes deeply and tries to turn to stone. Henry comes to help her up and offers a fact about goats having four stomach chambers when Caitlyn refuses his help. Caitlyn begins to worry about who she’ll sit with at lunch. Gabby explains that they sit with their “Minis,” younger students whom they are tasked with mentoring. 

Caitlyn meets her Mini, a kindergartener named Kiera, who clutches a stuffed bunny. Caitlyn sympathizes when Kiera says she misses her mom, replying that she misses “everything.” 

Glebus introduces the new students in the cafeteria before explaining the Good Day Bell. Caitlyn and Kiera pinky promise never to ring the bell, and Caitlyn nicknames Kiera “Fuzzy.”

Caitlyn rides home with her mom in silence. At home, Caitlyn texts her old friends about her new school, but no one replies. Caitlyn later asks her mom why they had to move, adding that her classmates are “weird” and only care about Paulie. Caitlyn’s mom says they’ll chant Caitlyn’s name soon, and Caitlyn asks to not be patronized. Her friend Ash texts back that she cannot wait to hear about Caitlyn’s school but cannot talk now. 

In an interview with Henry, he describes the first day of seventh grade as “catastrophically horrible.” Caitlyn is surprised because Henry was reading a book for much of the day, but Henry insists he wasn’t calm before detailing other things that freak him out, like sirens, hospital TV shows, cat saliva, and more. Henry connects these concerns back to the first day of school: Facts calm him down because they do not change. Henry admits that he had a secret that first day, claiming he was the only one who knew “it was the beginning of the end” (57).