51 pages • 1 hour read
The Distance Between Us: Young Readers Edition
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Themes
The Challenges of Family Separation and Reunification
Reyna Grande’s difficult family situation complicates her understanding of home and belonging, thus making the challenges of family separation and reunification one of the memoir’s key themes. From a young age, Reyna must adjust to life without her mother and father. Both of her parents leave Mexico when she is a child to make money in the United States. Reyna still has her sister Mago and brother Carlos and lives between her two grandmothers’ homes. However, she constantly longs for Mami and Papi to return so that she and her siblings can have a stable family and home life.
Throughout her childhood, Reyna starts to “[feel] so angry at [her] parents” (29), fearing that they will forget her and her siblings and leave them behind in Mexico forever. Part 1 traces Reyna’s challenging childhood experiences and the ways in which her relationship to, and perspective of, her parents changes over time. The memoir uses these plot points to convey how family separation influences the way a child sees the world. As Reyna grows up, she starts to realize that her parents don’t have as much room for her and her siblings in their hearts as she’d hoped. She begins to define family according to her relationships with Mago and Carlos, who are consistently by her side. This is particularly true whenever she reunites with Mami and Papi and they fail to show her the love and support she’s craved while they were away.
Reyna’s challenging family dynamics gradually teach her about herself as well. As she grows up, she learns to rely on books and stories to survive her difficult home life and to escape her father’s violence and abuse. When she is a little girl, she loves to listen to Mago tell her stories about her parents or about fictional characters. These tales often distract Reyna from her fears, loneliness and sadness. Over the years, she learns that although her mother and father aren’t always the people that she wants them to be, she can create a life and future for herself beyond these familial challenges.
Reyna continues to value her family as best as she can and maintains strong relationships with her siblings. In the meantime, she learns to process her family’s repeated separations and reunifications via writing and stories. In Part 2, Chapter 14, for example, she writes “a short story about identical twins” (235) that helps her to make sense of her relationships with her siblings and parents. In these ways, Reyna’s complex family situation both challenges her emotionally and teaches her resilience and hope. She learns how to let go of the things she can’t change about her parents and to value the things she loves about her siblings. The memoir thus suggests that all families are complicated and that family dynamics influence how an individual navigates the world, understands herself, and seeks love and acceptance.
Cultural Identity and Assimilation
Reyna’s immigration to the United States as a young girl shapes how she sees herself and complicates her coming-of-age journey. When Reyna leaves Mexico, she doesn’t want “to forget where [she came] from” (146). She knows that Los Angeles, California is “[her] new home now,” but she still feels connected to Mexico because her “umbilical cord [is] buried in Iguala” (146). Reyna often feels caught between her former home and her new home throughout the years that follow. She still sees herself as Mexican, but also feels pressured to assimilate to American culture to blend in. In these ways, she wrestles with cultural identity and assimilation throughout the memoir.
Reyna lives in constant fear of being deported because of Papi’s frequent threats. She fears that if people find out that she and her family “[broke] the law by coming to the United States,” she’ll have to “kiss it goodbye” (155). Furthermore, she fears that if she doesn’t learn English fast enough and do well in school, Papi will kick her out of the house and send her back to Mexico. At the same time, Reyna “still miss[es] [her] home in Iguala” (163). She longs for the freedom that she and her siblings had while living with Abuelita Chinta. She also wishes that she could see Mami and Betty. These longings illustrate Reyna’s continued attachment to her home. One side of her feels attached to Mexico and understands herself according to her former life there; another side of her appreciates the beauty and possibility of life in LA, and wants to succeed to prove herself as American. These dynamics convey the complications of the immigrant experience and its impact on young people.
Throughout Reyna’s coming-of-age, she attempts to balance her cultural identity with her new life in the States. Reyna starts to participate in more school activities and does her best to both succeed academically and to make friends so that she can fit in. When she goes to the prom, for example, she feels “like a normal girl doing what girls do here in America” (284) for the first time. Participating in this traditional rite of passage grants Reyna a sense of belonging and acceptance in the States as a high schooler. At the same time, when Reyna goes to see her family in Mexico for the first time since leaving as a child, she feels ashamed that she is “no longer considered Mexican enough” to the people “who’d seen [her] grow up” (270). She therefore remains divided between her two homes and her two identities.
Over time, Reyna learns how to balance these different parts of herself, particularly through reading and writing. Reading more Latinx writers inspires Reyna to write about her own immigrant experience, enabling her to shape and claim her cultural identity on her own terms.
The Power of Education and Storytelling
Reyna’s love for reading and writing, learning and storytelling helps her to overcome adversity and to make sense of her complicated childhood. From a young age, Reyna is excited to attend school. She loves stories and hopes that someday she’ll be able to learn to read and write her own. Throughout the memoir, Reyna’s personal growth is thus closely tied to the power of education and storytelling.
When Reyna moves to the United States, her academic experiences become more challenging because she does not speak English. She worries about “communicat[ing] with [her] teachers” and fears that she won’t “make any friends if [she can’t] understand what anyone [says]” (155). However, her father’s insistence that she do well in school inspires her to keep trying even when she is afraid or discouraged. Over time, her innate love for learning helps her to excel. She not only proves herself to be a good student, but develops her writing skills. She applies to multiple short story contests and reads as many books as she can.
These pastimes illustrate both Reyna’s determination to succeed and her belief that she’ll “learn English one day,” she’ll “find [her] way,” and that she is “now living in the land of opportunity, where anything is possible” (205). She tells herself that if she works hard she will not only make her father proud, but will also someday write a book that people love and that she is proud of too. These early goals and dreams stay with Reyna throughout her young adulthood and inspire her to shape her life around education and storytelling.
Reyna grows beyond her childhood trauma by pursuing an education in writing and literature. Although her father often overlooks her achievements or discourages her dreams of attending college, Reyna doesn’t give up. After Papi refuses to sign the necessary paperwork for UC Irvine, Reyna realizes that if she doesn’t like where she is, she “need[s] to figure out a way to change it” and that she is the “only person who [can] get [her] out of that hole” (296). This passage conveys Reyna’s strong will and inspires her decision to enroll in classes at Pasadena City College. She not only excels at PCC, but goes on to attend UC Santa Cruz.
These accomplishments prove to Reyna that she is both strong and capable, and that her love for learning has helped her to grow, change, and mature. The memoir shows the ways in which earning an education allows Reyna to create the life that she has always dreamed of.
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