67 pages • 2 hours read
Carrie Soto Is Back
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Themes
The Acceptable Standards of Women’s Behavior
A constant tension running underneath Carrie’s comeback is the way in which she is held to a different standard than her male peers in tennis. Throughout her initial career, Carrie purposely crafted a cold image, fighting against the expectation that women in tennis should be dainty and polite. This earned her a controversial reputation, and many saw her as ruthless, unfeeling, or a “bitch.” Carrie does not let this affect her behavior. Though she softens over the course of the novel, it is not in accordance with societal pressure, but rather because she chooses to relinquish the pressure she placed on her own shoulders.
Evidence of this theme crops up throughout the novel. When Carrie is teased by the son of one of Javier’s students at the tennis club, she tells him he is terrible at tennis. When she tries to justify this, Javier tells her, “People are going to call you a lot of things in your life. […] People always call people like us all kinds of things” (25). He is alluding to the fact that he is a Spanish-speaking immigrant. He knows that Carrie is already at a disadvantage, and he does not want her to make life more difficult for herself. Carrie sees the truth in Javier’s words, but she often encounters it in a different form: gender expectations. Carrie repeatedly notices other players who feel like they have to conform to societal standards. As a woman in tennis, Carrie realizes that “[i]t [isn’t] enough to play nearly perfect tennis. [She has] to do that and also be charming” (53-54).
Carrie does not partake in this. She exhibits determination and confidence, which earns her criticism from the media. As she describes her rise to greatness, she notes: “It was okay to win as long as I acted surprised when I did and attributed it to luck. I should never let on how much I wanted to win or, worse, that I believed I deserved to win. And I should never, under any circumstances, admit that I did not believe all of my opponents were just as worthy as I was” (54). Triumph is not ladylike, nor is engaging in a heated rivalry. Furthermore, a successful, talented woman is often seen as threatening or aggressive. A woman like Carrie represents everything antithetical to what a female player in a refined, upper-class sport like tennis “should” be.
This theme is especially apparent in the transcripts from news sources, especially The Mark Hadley Show. On it, Briggs Lakin often goes head-to-head with Gloria Jones, a former tennis pro. Lakin often cuts Jones off, not taking her opinion as a tennis player seriously. He says of Carrie, “But is it not another thing entirely to come back and then act like an animal? […] Where is the grace? The poise? This is a sport of ladies and gentlemen” (141). Despite this claim, there is no indication that he criticizes male players in the same way. He expects Carrie to act like a “lady,” while the men do not need to act like “gentlemen.” When Jones tries to encourage her co-hosts to stop calling Carrie a “bitch,” Lakin vocally resists. However, by the end, he is forced to admit that he is impressed by how far Carrie goes.
Lakin is not the only one who demeans Carrie and disregards her success. When she wins Wimbledon for the 10th time, the male champion says that her victory isn’t comparable to his since men play the best of five sets while women play best of three. Despite being a record holder, it isn’t until Carrie’s comeback that others speak out against the double standard and unfair expectations placed on Carrie.
The Wimbledon incident also sparks an important conversation between Carrie and Gwen, in which Gwen points out that she herself is held to another set of rules because she is Black. Nicki is not white either; she is also a lesbian, something she cautiously reveals to Carrie later in the book. Although Carrie is cognizant of these issues (and does not care about Nicki’s sexuality), she does not personally experience them. Thus, the women of color in her life remind her that not only do they face the same gender struggles as Carrie, but they must also grapple with other issues of prejudice too.
At the same time, Carrie’s triumphs elevate women. While she cannot singlehandedly upend societal standards, Carrie does open the door for women to find greater success and earn respect, especially in tennis. Nicki, in claiming Carrie’s record (and, later, having Carrie as her coach), does the same.
Fear of Losing as a Roadblock to Joy
Carrie has a deep fear of losing that she ultimately comes to peace with by the end of the novel. This fear is twofold: She is not only afraid of losing her record but also of losing the few people close to her. This fear—which is realized in multiple ways throughout the story—prevents her from feeling joy, especially in the sport that defines her life.
Carrie’s fear of losing is rooted in her childhood. She loses her mother suddenly, and the first men she is with only seek a physical relationship with her. Furthermore, Javier doesn’t talk much about his wife after she dies. He takes Carrie’s only photo of her mother away, believing that “it is too heavy of a weight for [her] to bear” (23). Javier also pushes young Carrie to be the best, imbuing in her a fear of losing that extends far beyond the standard he set for her. Javier’s actions are intended to be a kindness. He tries to relieve his daughter of her grief, and he wants to bond with her over the sport they share and inspire her to work hard for her dreams. Instead, Carrie becomes obsessed with winning and terrified of losing, both in tennis and in her life.
Carrie retires unwillingly, before she has a chance to truly overcome her fears. When she returns to tennis for the 1995 season, she finds herself again. It makes her feel good to work for victory, and her confidence pushes her to do her best. Returning to tennis pushes her to find joy in areas where she had not previously. Midway through the novel, as she practices before the French Open, she feels the “sense of sheer accomplishment without the weight of the cost” (180). Finding a comfort in the familiarity of the game is an important step, but her joy is still contingent on victory. It takes the entirety of the novel for Carrie to overcome her fear of losing in tennis—but when she does, she is able to willingly relinquish her title to Nicki and savor her freedom. In competing against Nicki, someone who understands tennis on the same deep level as Carrie, Carrie is able to experience true joy and let go of her fear. Carrie was not okay with losing to Stepanova, her former rival. She is okay with losing to Nicki, and even becomes her coach at the end of the novel.
Carrie’s fear of losing people takes a separate, albeit intertwined, arc. When she first enters a relationship with Bowe, it is primarily physical. Carrie, fearful of losing those she loves and shaped by past failed romances, maintains a strict distance between them. She periodically alludes to the fact that their breakup is inevitable, even as their mutual affection grows. Javier encourages her to let Bowe in, assuring Carrie that Bowe loves her. The night before Javier dies, Carrie finally allows Bowe to stay for dinner. This symbolizes how she opens up to the possibility of a future with him, despite her lingering fears. For the first time in a long time, Carrie dares to embrace the vulnerability of loving another person. She realizes that it is not as scary as she’d anticipated it would be: “I wonder for a moment why I have spent all my time worried about losing things, when there is so much here” (315).
Losing Javier is hard on Carrie. Alicia’s death, despite its strong influence, occurred when Carrie was a child, too young to fully understand her own grief. Javier’s, however, is her worst fear realized. She does not fully remember the period immediately after Javier’s passing, repeatedly saying “I think” and “Bowe tells me” when she describes her feelings and actions (317, 318). She lashes out and closes in on herself until finally, she “find[s] the bottom. And while [she] know[s] the hole will be there forever, at least for now, [she] feel[s] as if [she] can live inside it. [She has] learned its boundaries and its edges” (321).
Bowe’s support—and Gwen’s, and even Nicki’s—is instrumental, but it is Carrie who ultimately overcomes her fear. Carrie, who spent most of her career tamping down on emotion, finally allows herself to cry until she feels, if not quite better, at least capable of getting there. The fear of losing a loved one is something Carrie cannot conquer without experiencing it once again. She is a stronger person when she finally emerges from her sorrow, one who is capable of truly appreciating the fact that Bowe did not abandon her in her harsh grief. When she later laughs with Bowe, she feels no guilt in her happiness.
The Meaning of Greatness
Greatness defines Carrie’s life. From a young age, Javier calls her his “Achilles,” claiming she is destined for greatness. This is a point of contention with Carrie’s mother, Alicia, who says that she “would rather [Carrie] was kind and happy” (16). If Carrie’s mother had survived, her influence may have lessened Carrie’s obsession with greatness and tempered the pressure of Javier’s expectations. But Alicia dies, and Javier and Carrie, with no one left but each other, throw themselves into their bond of tennis.
Carrie treasures this time with her father, even though their mutual pursuit of her destiny prevents her from enjoying a normal childhood: “The time I got to spend with him felt like a gift that other kids didn’t get. Unlike them, my time had purpose; my father and I were working toward something of meaning. I was going to be the best” (18). Carrie’s relationship with her father is tied to her accomplishments in tennis—so much so that it becomes a source of friction when his perspective changes, while hers does not.
Carrie and Javier’s views of greatness splinter as Carrie becomes rivals with Stepanova. At first, Javier seems to think the rivalry is good; the fame allows him to publish a book and appear on TV. Carrie notes that, back then, “he seemed satisfied with what we had done together, what we’d accomplished. His dreams had been fulfilled” (53). Carrie, however, resents that she is not yet the best. This is the first sign of tension in their relationship, caused by their differing views. Carrie has based her idea of greatness on her Grand Slams, and she will not be satisfied until she claims the record. She pushes herself harder and harder, and Javier steadily realizes that he has warped her perceptions by pressuring her. Javier tries to apologize and points out that there is no such thing as an “actual unequivocal greatest” tennis player (55), but Carrie feels insulted and betrayed and fires him as her coach. Throughout the rest of the novel, Javier strives to help Carrie balance victory with happiness, which is the meaning of “greatness” to him. Carrie, for her part, is forced to retire at 31—she injures her knee because of her new coach’s tactics, and he tells her directly that he “does not want to stick around to see what less-than-perfect version of [Carrie] awaits” (75). Although Carrie claims the record she wanted, she does not feel truly great.
Carrie is slow to change her views. At the start of her comeback, she is still very much like her pre-retirement self. She holds the record, but it was a hollow victory without Javier. She is still gripped by the fear of loss. She still pushes herself too hard and assigns her greatness purely to her Grand Slam record. But Carrie is older now, and she has Javier at her side once more. Slowly, she wonders what it really means to be great. Is greatness measured in statistics? Which one has the most meaning? And what does this mean for Carrie Soto? As she becomes more comfortable with losing, she also grows more comfortable interrogating these questions.
Other factors help shift Carrie’s idea of greatness. Even as she grapples with confusion, doubt, and fear, Carrie sees the way she inspires other women. Nicki is a much kinder rival than Stepanova ever was, and she respects Carrie’s accomplishments. Bowe also influences Carrie’s ideas of greatness; he is okay with not being number one, and he cares for Carrie regardless of her victories. Like Javier, Bowe does not think Carrie's greatness depends solely on her Grand Slam record.
Eventually, Carrie understands that she has pursued greatness in the wrong way. When Bowe shows her the newspaper that says that no matter what, her match with Nicki will be record-breaking, Carrie thinks of Javier’s past words and says, “So many statistics […] You just pick one randomly and decide that’s the one you’re committed to. But when you take a step back, how can you say one means more than another?” (350). This signals her freedom from the idea of quantifiable greatness. When Nicki wins the match, Carrie is fully relieved of her burden, and thinks that “for the first time in [her] life, [she] can be... something else” (362). She is no longer beholden to numbers, or to the image of a destined mythical hero—she is great because of who she is and because of the joy she takes in playing.
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